musiC to my ears

my life for 15 mths. =)

2009-07-30T03:26:00.007+08:00

i've started school at SIM for 4 weeks..

this is what's gonna be for 15 months, at least..
wake up at 8 every morning. look for some clothes.
pack my bag, and think of something retard i wanna do today.
spend 10 mins in e toilet with my ciggerate and trying to kek sai..
thn 5 mins to bathe.
shave. dry my hair, do up my hair.

walk up e carpark
send my lil sister to school at zion church.
after im out of the church, another ciggerate. blast e music in my car..

reach school, park illigally. tap my card, late at times..
get into class, get a peek on that prettiest girl in my class, kimberley =P
smile at jing qi, kevin, and gladys.
lecturer comes in. try my best to uds.
and if i dont, try my best not to fall asleep.
sometimes kimberley entertains e class with interesting questions. lOl
sometimes qing qi and i will be fuckin' retarded making idiotic noises and laughing over nothing.
think of killing the lecturers when e understanding gets too tough..

break time. smoke with jing qi and kevin.
get "chicken fuck your mum" and other stuff to eat. a bottle of drink.
head back to class. wish lessons never had to start again.
end of class. disturb gladys.

if must stay back do project, dread...
otherwise, smoke again.
thn head into my car.

open the windows cus its damn hot! get burn on my ass by e heat on e leather seats.
blast e air conditioner. blast the music.
drop jing qi at bus stop. =)
u-turn and enjoy speeding down lornie road. take e bends on braddell road like my car's some F1 car.
try not to fall asleep at e rest of e journey.

reach home.
wash my legs.
hit e switch on my computer.
waste my time over the net.
ask for lunch. get crap lunch. eat lunch. scold maid over crap lunch.

revise work if i feel like. otherwise sleep.
wake up. dinner. thn cannot sleep
play games, waste time. until late at night.

and then i fall asleep..

and the next day it goes on the same way..
;)

i love college..

quoted... "u may grow up holding hands with girlfriends. but you're one of e lonliest person i've known.."

i find this sentence very applicable to me...

and i never knew i was'nt part of your life..
never that important..

things i'll never do..

2009-07-04T19:29:00.003+08:00

if u were mine
i'll never make u cry.
they'll only be for your tears of joy.

if u held my hands
i'll hold on tight.
i wont let go, i will never leave u lonely.

if u huG me once more
i'll never bring myself apart.
cus you're a part of my heart and soul.

e days seems harder to pass without you by my side.
colder than usual, i seem to freeze in e corner of the room.
without you, without you around.

i just cant seem to move on~

when i see you cryin cus of the silliest things,
it breaks ma heart apart. and baby u know,
i wanna love you right.

now you're e best thing in my life,
baby without you, it just aint right
i just wanna love you right.

i cant sleep till i see you smile,
and you deserve better, so much better.
wanna love you right,

so wont you let me love you tonight?

pissed

2009-05-17T23:21:00.004+08:00

Im so fuckin' pissed off today.
just FUCKIN' PISSED OFF!

you know what?
fuck your mother.

silly girl.

2009-05-17T22:59:00.004+08:00

while i respected you, do you show me your mutual respect.
is this what you think is better.
when i treated you proper, did you even fear.
the fear that you would upset me, the fear of me being angry?
and now you fear him?
that u dont even update your blog,
you dont even reply to your tags.
you friends? when i dint like them, you dint give a shit.
now you're so afraid?
and what now?! he's your friend? and this friend is allowed to slap you, pull your hair?!
EH, WHAT THE FUCK OKAY.

why are you allowing yourself to be abused?
yes i admit it hurts to hear so.
but im telling you again, if you dont help yourself no one can.

i asked for a name. u briefly gave one. if you dint wanna even give then just ask me to fuck off.
dont give a name which there's almost nothing i can do about.
im saying this one last time.

tell me what i need to know, before i act on my own accord.
before i make a decision i know i cant re-wind.
it'll be much easier if i just know everything.
stop protecting him and say its protecting me.
i dont need to be protected from wussies like this particular moron.

and if i have to do this on my own, im coming straight at him with my baseball bat.
i dont know who he is, but i'll hunt him down.

p.s. stop being silly girl..

being - r a n d o m.

2009-05-09T03:07:00.002+08:00

- P.u.d.d.i.n.g. -
i did something "random" today finally. haha!
im was walkin around, not knowing where to go...
thinking of this.. thinking of that..
felt rather, lonely..

so i thought,
i think i need a companion!
a new best friend!! haha
so i went around looking for friends.

guess who i found.
i found my sweet lil pudding!
yup tts her name.
haha. actually, i bought her from pet lovers at yishun.
Cuutte, fat, lil, custard coloured fur hamster! haha.

well. yup, she's my new friend now lOlz.
bought a nice, but damn expensive cage. (and i forgot the brand)
which looks like a dome.
at least i know i could have add ons with those fancyful connectors
if i want to.

well. for your info, i dint "buy it just because it looks so damn cute",
(whatever that phrase is, i cant remember)
i spent 2 good long hours in that shop. choosing e one i like,
looking at its, home to be, food, and bedding.
and i asked the salesman so much about hamsters although i already kept so many before.

am so very proud to have you pudding ;)
and im so very happy today. ^^

@ . @
(BIG WIDE SMILE!)

A Bit Of Me.

2009-05-03T03:55:00.000+08:00

-A Bit Of Me-

there's this big part of me whom likes you but dare not say
there's abit of me whom loves you but dare not show

there's an addiction and you know i need you now
even thou we've met like so yesterday

being so close to you brings all joy to my soul
e days spent without you seems so uncoloured
with no rainbows with no crayons

i love the texts with your names all over my phone
i wanna hear you sleep, maybe i shan't bother

i urgently need you, there's my heart that says i wanna be with you
my head's killing telling me its wrong to do so

i wish a hug could stay a little longer
but then again i think i'll never let go

whats wrong with me
im going crazy
my mind's messed up with thoughts of you all over inside of me

-i miss you
i miss you, sweetie.

Paul.

2009-05-03T03:52:00.003+08:00

oh ya. i found my wallet! =))
wanna say thank you to this mama shop in yew tee at block 834A for keeping my wallet for me to return to get it.
i dint get any thank you gifts for them cause my mum was rushing to work and i could'nt buy something.

but im really greatful to you guys.
once again, thank you so .....................................................................................................................................................................
..........................................................................................................................................................................
..........................................................................................................................................................................
................ much! ;)

2009-05-01T00:20:00.003+08:00

I M S O F U C K I N ' P I S S E D O F F T O D A Y !

lost my wallet.
my black "polo" shirt was worn by uncle.
fucking stupid maid. (if you're not happy i said that sue me.)
what else's worst?!

F U C K .

because of you..

2009-04-18T00:26:00.002+08:00

im gonna get a part time job while waiting for SIM's confirmation.
im gonna get my class 2B license. class 2A. and thn Class 2.
and i'll get my harley davidson's hot rod.
im gonna take up mui tai lessons.
im gonna get my tattoo.
im gonna built my room.
im gonna learn to be a bad ass.
all these, just to forget you.
="/
and i hope by the time im done with these,
i'll forget the times i shared with you.

Paul.

2009-04-04T21:14:00.000+08:00

I HATE THIS FUCKING FEELING !

2009-04-04T21:10:00.002+08:00

im closing down this blog next week.
due to what?

let me ask. is'nt our stories, our love, all that's happen inside here?
is'nt it meant to be kept in here as memories to look back on?
for people to know, for people to see?
why're you so sensitive and quarrellsome over small simple lil things like that?
then why have a blog?
dont blame me for erasing everything here due to what?
your ever questionings and din over things like people tagging~
LOOK AT YOUR OWN TAGBOARD pls.

2008-12-11T00:15:00.004+08:00

there is, SO ................................................................................................................................................. much, i would like to blog about. but everytime when i see this blank page, i just dont know where to start.

lets start thn, about my feelings now : C O N F U S E D.
everyone of us, during a certain point of time in life would realize, or start realising that we would very much want the best of everything we could get hold of.
but having said this, everything comes with consequences; or in my case, "a trade".

i know that she treats me very well. i know how much she loves me. and i know, i could never, Ever find anyone like you.
which of your girlfriends, cooks for you often? makes hearts using eggs, packs it nicely in a tupperware and personally delivers it right to you; when you're having a busy day, when u never had time for lunch or dinner.
skips her own meals to save up for expensive snacks for you to stock up in your own army camp's cabinet.
cries and tuck herself to bed when you are out playing your games, when u never gave her the attention she wanted.
i feel so useless right now.

but with all these love you've showered me. the trade is, my freedom and opportunities in future.
example when i told you about the SIA's recruitment. why should you feel so insercure? i was already stuck in this love web of yours. there's no need to go aggresive and bite for every inch i move.

what makes me happy: my hobbies. my passion. volleyball, games. these are things that take me away from this world for all i care.
my friends. how many do i have left with now? I mean REAL, TRUE, friends.
if you're going to take away everything from me. what am i left with. where are my opportunities going to come from in future.

this is the decision i want to make right now. but i just cant decide. because baby im still, and always in love with you. it feels like nothing can take me away from you. but what about my future? have you thought about this for me?

i used to be, outgoing, noisy, irritating, fun, and daring.
now? enclosed, quiet, lone, and i am even lazy to SPEAK UP FOR MYSELF. DAMN!
i just cant belive it.
and some people can mess with me. i dont wanna say who.
but im going to start standing up for myself from today onwards.

to be continued... i dont know when, but i will continue this entry. i've alot more to say. i just dont know what now. GOOD NIGHT!

wang bu liao.

2008-10-26T02:05:00.002+08:00

paul

2008-08-30T19:39:00.002+08:00

you know? i feel so tired? like everything's not right. i feel very indifferent.

im sorry hunny.. i really am ="(

2008-06-09T21:38:00.007+08:00

i don't know if i would regret this choice i made today.
i don't know if i've made the right choice.
i don't know what'll happen next.

i initiated that we both take a break.
and right after i said it... :"/

my parents know you.
my relatives've seen you. quite a number of times.
my grandmother loves you. she misses your company.
she asked about you. she thought we were no longer an item when you hav'nt been visiting her for a long time. and i brought you there the following week.
i could see how much hope she had for the both of us. ="(
we were, meant to grow up and grow old together.
we had a common future together.

but today, i made this decision.
i risked losing all of these we have.
or maybe i've already lost them all.
it hurts so much to think back.

and perhaps, this is why i havn't let go of my past.
="( i need someone to talk to.
i need a shoulder lean on.
i really need a hug.
i need to cry.

even if i end up with nothing at all, i can't resay what i've said.
even if i regret what i did, i know i deserved it.

i really cant let go.

paul. ="(

2008-06-09T21:14:00.004+08:00

do pause the music playing currently before starting this one. =)

Song lyrics | I'm Yours lyrics

2008-06-08T18:25:00.004+08:00

Kinda boring today..
did not go to sentosa today, for a couple of reasons..
one of them's becus of my swollen knee. =( Damn Damn painful i swear.
i asked mum to bring me to the clinic cus, i cant possibly walk properly.

Sunday, go clinic hunting..
well surprisingly there were, alot of clinics when we tried hougang plaza there or something.. dint really know where's that place.

Doctor gave me antibiotics. and i think its one of the best ones, cause i told him that i've never always completed the whole course. "dangerous" he said.. sigh, i know that.
also antibiotic cream to be applied on the wound. and, PAINKILLERS! he only gave me 5 pills. took one just now, and its damn fuckin' good! i dont feel much pain now, and and.. I CAN WALK! waah like "shen yao"
abit exaggerating hor . . =D~
well, first time taking painkillers.

i played games at home.. damn bored.. i wanna go out.. i wanna watch movies..
i started to think of alot. of alot alot of alot of things.. sigh..
i cant comment much here, cus i just cant. and i wish i could.
i kept checking on my msn.
beggining to feel that im missing something.
i know you know what im thinkin'
arrrggh }=(
why'm i doing things that,
that i know i wont want to, or perhaps cant bear to do.

okae, dont talk so much. emo alreadi.

i noticed that i've very lil pictures too. and my last feel posts seems like, totally no pictures..
well i dont have my camera phono with me..
i finally wanna get a camara, someday.

im looking forward to tonight. Dad's bringing us to dinner and movie! kuNg fu paNda Bear! =D

wait for you..

2008-06-06T20:14:00.002+08:00

I never felt nothing in the world like this before
Now I'm missing you And I'm wishing that you would come back through my door
Why did you have to go? You could have let me know
So now I'm all alone,

Girl you could have stayed
But you wouldn't give me a chance
With you not around it's a little bit more then I can stand
And all my tears they keep running down my face
Why did you turn away?

[Bridge]
So why does your pride make you run and hide? Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it's a lie what you keep inside
This is not how you wanted to be

[Chorus]
So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don't know what else I can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just aint true
I really need you in my life
No matter what I have to do I'll wait for you

[Verse 2]
It's been a long time since you called me (How could you forget about me)
You got me feeling crazy(crazy)

How can you walk away, Everything stays the same
I just can't do it baby
What will it take to make you come back
Girl I told you what it is and it just ain't like that
Why can't you look at me, your still in love with me
Don't leave me crying.

[Bridge]
Baby why can't we just start over again
Get it back to the way it was
If you give me a chance I can love you right
But your telling me it wont be enough

[Chorus]
So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else I can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life
Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just aint true
I really need you in my life
No matter what I have to do
I'll wait for you

[Bridge]
So why does you pride make you run & hide
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it's a lie what your keeping inside
That is not how you wanted to be

Baby I will wait for you
Baby I will wait for you
If it's the last thing I do

[Chorus]
So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else I can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just aint true
I really need you in my life
No matter what I have to do I'll wait for you

I'll Be Waiting.

rest well Adem ="(

2008-05-19T01:13:00.003+08:00

(please give a minute of your silence as respect to my dear pet if you read. thanks.)

I just felt like dying on the 15 that just past, thursday..
felt like i've no one to turn to..
i can see no path ahead of me..
i can choose, but the choices not there for me..
everything just seems so... frustrating..
there was simply nothing left for me..

perhaps God din't want me to die so early..
i was practically crying my heart out..
feeling helpess..

on the 16th May 2008, Friday.
my pet Adem passed away..
cause of death, toppled glass bowl for hamster's food over Adem and Eve.
i guess they were both deprived of oxygen and space.
Eve bit out Adam's right eye.. i think it bleed to death thereafter.
i saw Eve feeling exhusted.. it just stayed at one corner. her fur was a little messed up and wet..
Hunny and I buried poor Adem downstairs..

after everything, i just felt a little depressed about it.
i somewhat felt, God had exchanged Adem's life for mine..
got this thought from an email i read, on the God taking away the Cow's life to save the Farmer..
well i just had this very wierd sense as well..

i've never personally seen Adem and Eve Fought..
they just seemed to suit one another perfectly..
with 5 kids in total already..
this is what happens when 2 lovely couple gets trapped without oxygen and space..
its the same thing when it comes to human beings..
but dont worry, i wont eat hunny's eye.. O.@

Adem, I wanna say thank you to you for bringing me smiles and being my cute little companion for the few months when you were around. the way you cuddle when i carry you plays back in my mind when i think of you.
Adem, you were a good and brave boy too at the vet. i know it has been painful for you to break a limb. seeing you struggle while the doctor bandage you was so unbearable..
you've suffered, coming to bring life your family and joy to us.
i felt like you've sacrificed for me.
="( thank you dear boy. i will always remember you.

Ely and Paul bids good bye to you.
Rest well in heaven Adem. =")

2008-04-20T05:08:00.004+08:00

well, i've heard things about the last day of earth and all.. 2011, 2012? notreally sure..
here's what i found..

Five years and counting: Will the world end in 2012?
By Vince Darcangelo
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Source: http://dailycamera.com

The end is near. Well, more specifically, it's five years from this Friday: Dec. 21, 2012 — or so the doomsayers would have you believe.
Others believe we're five years from an unprecedented spiritual awakening.
Whatever you believe, there's no denying that the 2012 movement has become a hot topic.
Just take a walk through the non-fiction aisle of the nearest bookstore.
Joseph Lawrence's "Apocalypse 2012: A Scientific Investigation into Civilization's End" and Daniel Pinchbeck's "2012: The Return of Quetzalcoatl" are some of the more popular titles filling bookshelves these days.

Most recently, Louisville-based Sounds True, a publisher of spiritual books, audio programs and DVDs, published the book "The Mystery of 2012: Predictions, Prophesies and Possibilities," an anthology featuring many of the leading scholars on the topic, including Pinchbeck and John Major Jenkins, an independent researcher who has studied 2012 for more than 20 years and discussed the anthology at a Dec. 6 book signing at the Boulder Book Store.
The big question these books are trying to answer, of course, is what's going to happen in 2012 — in particular on the winter solstice, Dec. 21.

Here's what is known: The ancient Mayan long-count calendar — a calendar that spans more than 5,000 years — comes to an end on Dec. 21, 2012.
This coincides with a galactic alignment in which the sun will align with the center of the Milky Way galaxy, an event that occurs once every 26,000 years, which could have potentially catastrophic consequences.
The galactic alignment has the potential to create a shift in the Earth's poles, which would cause disastrous environmental events.
Many view this, in conjunction with the end of the Mayan calendar, as a sign of the end times. Viewers of the History Channel should be familiar with this theory, as the channel has featured the doomsday scenario in numerous programs.

But there is another theory, led by the likes of Jenkins, who makes his home in Windsor, and has spent much of the past two decades living and working with the traditional Maya in Guatemala. For him, 2012 is not the end. It's a chance for an unprecedented spiritual awakening.
"It's an opportunity for human life to understand our true natures,"
he says. "There will be a great awakening to the greater potential that human beings have."
The doomsday theories, though, have captured the public's imagination and have often overshadowed Jenkins' work.

"It's a little disappointing to see the carnival aspect of 2012 on the upswing," he says. "Because of the large interest that 2012 is generating ... a lot of people will be distracted by the carnival barkers selling snake oil."
There could be something positive in this, however, for at the very least the doomsayers have drawn attention to the topic, Jenkins says.

"That just means, relatively speaking, that more people will be able to navigate their way through the labyrinth to get into the heart of the information."
People are talking. A year ago, if you had asked someone their opinion about 2012, they likely would have responded that it was their favorite Rush album.
Not anymore. In July, the New York Times Magazine ran a feature on 2012, and competing theories concerning the winter solstice of 2012 have gone from the fringe to the mainstream as the rival streams of perennial philosophy and apocalyptic prophecy have met at the confluence of popular culture.

"We're just seeing more titles. It seems there has constantly been one new 2012 book in circulation for the past year now," says Arsen Kashkashian, inventory manager at the Boulder Book Store, which has hosted 2012-themed readings by Pinchbeck and Jenkins in the past four months. "They used to be fringe things. They're being put out by the big publishers now."

As Dec. 21, 2007 draws near, it may be time to write up one final five-year plan. But should they be plans for the end of the world or just the end of the world as we know it? It depends on whose book you read.
E N D

from me:
what if the world was suddenly ending?
what's the first thing you'll do when you see the this star rushing downwards to earth..
for me, i'll just huG my most loved, eLy.
eyes closed.
exchanging our last thoughts..
cherishing this very last moment together with you.
wherever we are, it be soon over..
and we'll still be together.. =")

but, anyway.. i dont wanna fuckin' die yet! damn.. i finish army.. 2009.. study 2010..
work and enjoy only till 2012?! no no no no no...
God, please dont end this world so quickly..
perhaps i should start going to church again..

if its really 2012.. hunny, we've only 4 years left..
do you know?? ="/
it means a lot to me..

pauL-
feeling afraid.

this hard truth

2008-04-12T14:44:00.007+08:00

Friday, yesterday.. everyone suddenly started screaming and cheering.. because we could have our half day off.. within minutes.. everyone changed and was prepared to book out.. =) i was wondering, what am i going to do? (phew..) everyone had a smile from ear to ear.. all had plans.. except for me..

i took the bus.. and upon reaching your place.. i finally decided to alight..
i did not know where you were and for the whole of the week what you've been doing..
i dint really know for what reasons i actually alighted.. maybe its the usual routine..
but this time round.. thoughts dashing through my mind..

i walked up to your door.. stoned there for a minute or so..
(sigh) instead, i decided to walk away..
i needed to see you, but on the other hand i kept ringing myself inside that i've already initiate that we needed a break..
i told myself, well maybe you were'nt at home.. maybe you're outside with someone else..
took the lift down.. i thought to myself.. ain't this scene look like when i saw you home the first time, and your ex was standing there waiting..
except for this time, i was going to be him..
something just smacked me back to reality..
but again, i told myself.. i initiated it..

you've shown that you've been happier too.
whenever i call it'll just spoil your day.. and i realised that the only imperfect thing in your world is me. ="
throughout the bus trip to lot 1, i had recall alot of those wonderful memories..
i needed something to lean on..

i thought of.. the times that we used to sit inside the bus together.
the time that you came into my house and drew a sunshine with the message.. "GOOD MORNING HUNNIE" on a cardboard piece and left it on my bed while i was sleeping..
things like these were coming and coming all of a sudden.. everything i could recall so clearly..
i wondered if i would pass by this place again. i thought to myself that, i should remember this bus service number "300"

i came to think of "900" too.. i thought of the times we would go back home together..
i thought of the times we tickled one another, ending up with you having all the bruises..
i thought of the times we walked pasa malam together =")
times we would eat at vista point.. go downstairs, walk here walk there..

i miss all these sweet memories..

slammed myself again saying, time's up..

i went to vivocity.. making a guess that you might be there..
i visited every shop. i walked every level of the balcony..
i went to the place where you decorated the glass with the heart-shaped stickers..
i remember the bench was filled with the wonderful heart shaped chocolates too..
you were waiting for me to come.. it was our valentine's day!
it was such a nice time we had spent together..
i walked to the place we had our candlelight dinner..
i saw a few other people from far.. that i thought it could be you..
i was thinking too much..

went home, and came out again.. to Chua Chu Kang.. i called you..
but you dint want to be bothered..
and again, i left..

i saw on the newspaper this movie player which i wanted one.. there's discount at plaza singapura and some other outlets..
i tried to ask you out..
once more, now i get what you mean..
yes, fucktard..
thats why i did'nt get it.

im confused, because on one hand its hard letting go, and on the other hand you're just being "the way you are".
what hurts most is when you actually said,
"NS, you've a companion."
"Sex is not a problem?"
"free flow of supplies to be brought to your bunk"
THIS is how you actually perceive of me ="/
learning of this is one of the reasons i've initiated this break up.
because i don't need these ="]
i just wanna show you, that you don't have to be my slave if you think that's what i make you feel like.

its just upsetting..
and dint i told you, esplanade suck.. =")
and also, it dint took effect immediately.
you still would not listen.

you got what you wanted?
did you see the lights of the tall buildings, all turning off together?
no, but this candle has just been blown.
leaving its wax, "Wasted".

ePpauL.

My Trip To Thailand..

2008-01-09T23:59:00.000+08:00

I am going off to thailand on the 10th of January 2008..
it'll be 3 weeks.. and im coming back on the 31st of January 2008..
during this period of time, i promise that i'll be good..
i'll not smoke..
i'll not touch what's not mine..
i'll never visit red light districts..
i'll not make you worry..

i'll try not to quarrell with you..
i'll try to call back as often as i can..

i will think of you..
i will cry whenever i miss you..
i will miss you..
i will always keep you in my heart..
and
i will always love you..

i dont know if i would be back alive..
but i will try to do my best to come back for you..

i've nothing much to say to you..
i really hate mandy..
i dont feel like im the only one anymore.. ="(

sometimes i hate you.. sometimes i love you..
i feel like im using this trip to take a break for myself..
with toughest trainings that'll break me down..
my tears with sorrows will all be gone..
i should then come back as someone new..

="(

2007-09-30T00:58:00.000+08:00

Its been asked by hunny for how many times.. to BLOG!
am doing it here now.. instead of playing games..

sigh, just wanna let you know that im really quite sick of my life inside there.. should'nt even have choosen to be a scout trooper.. its not easy.. we've to be "the best"..

imagine, i've to do this for 2 years.. ="(

at night.. im just too tired at times.. it's not that i dont wanna talk to you.. with my muscles aching and my eyes closing.. argh.. and when i wake up.. ...... feels like my heart's aching.. cause i've missed one night spending it over the phone with you..
i kept thinking of you through out my trainings, one of the reasons which give me the strength to RUN and JUMP. =/

im in the lan shop now.. not very convenient to post here.. wont say too much..
but i'll definatly need to tell you, i miss you.. and how much i think of you in there.. you're not forgotten.. do ever feel so alright.. I Love You hunny.. =")

hands to heaven.

2007-07-18T22:48:00.000+08:00

Hands to heaven

As I watch you move, across the moonlit room
There's so much tenderness in your loving
Tomorrow I must leave, the dawn knows no reprieve
God give me strength when I am leaving...

So raise your hands to heaven and pray
That we'll be back together someday

Tonight, I need your sweet caress
Hold me in the darkness
Tonight, you calm my restlessness
You relieve my sadness

As we move to embrace, tears run down your face
I whisper words of love, so softly
I can't believe this pain, it's driving me insane
Without your touch, life will be lonely

So raise your hands to heaven and pray
That we'll be back together someday

Tonight, I need your sweet caress
Hold me in the darkness
Tonight, you calm my restlessness
You relieve my sadness

Morning has come, another day
I must pack my bags and say goodbye...
Goodbye...

National Service.

2007-04-19T23:37:00.000+08:00

what will it be when i go in.. ="]
sigh..
...
sigh..

While you were not here, Day 1

2007-02-18T10:30:00.000+08:00

this happened on 17 Feb 2007.
Blogged on 18 Feb 2007. (morning)

I think, i slept at 4 or later.. i waited for you call meanwhile on my game to keep me awake.. but u never made that phonecall..
im kinda disappointed, still worried..
*sigh

mummy woke me up at, around 10..
"im going united square paul, do you wanna follow me?"

bathed and changed then a little delay here and there.
we arrived marina square's carpark.. shopped a little..
i saw a volcom jacket, its 2 in 1 as in you can wear it on the inside and outside..
it costs 120 or something..

so we walked over to united square cause mummy wanted to change roxanne's clothing.
nothing of what i want there.. quite obviously.

went back to velocity (marina square)
Nothing i want. and so i took a train to somerset.

shopped here and there, cine and heren.
cine and heren.

cine and heren again
wanted to get this pair of.. "jeans" shoe from LEFTFOOT ($149).
and at Heren this jacket from piere cardin. ($135)
its like.. so expensive..

i walked to far east.. first..
but in the wrong direction! until i almost reached dhoby ghaut.
=( back to Heren and then Far East Plaza..
Stupid information officer.. think he was a Gay some more.
not that i mind.. but he's *wragh*
then tell me directions also dunno how to say.. mislead me in the end..

i shopped the whole of Far East.. but i dnit get anything..
I WENT BACK TO HEREN AND CINE AND HEREN AND CINE AGAIN =.=
legs were so tired..
and my poor slippers.. ="(
i could see the sole wearing off quite bad..
and today, i noticed quite a few people looking at me..
quite a good hair day with sprays haha
well maybe it was my clothes.. i was in my green quicksilver shorts and black quicksilver shirt and slippers..
=) In Town. Laughs*

so i went to look at the jacket and then to LEFTFOOT again.
when i decided to get to shoe..
its' only left with the display set..
sigh

so i looked for another.
there's this one made like the tiger's and leopard's skin..
with fur on the shoe..
and the other choice was this turquoise back with pebble looking front..

i choosed turquoise caused Hunny might like it..
i thought, she told me that shoe was nice too.
the other reason was, its pebble lines would glow in bright lights!
he used a flash camera phone and showed me the picture captured.. @@
it costs $169
yar i know im crazy.
i bought it.

allthe way till i was home, i was thinking bout it.. heartach*
yar by the way i dint get that jacket.. i dont wanna spend 300 on my New Year..
well.. lets see how much i would win this year.. heh heh..
Two Nice Jackets o.o haha..
lets see if i could win them..
and, maybe darling wants to go for the photography session.. both of us.. hmm
lets see..

i reached home..
and you only called me at 9 at night.
at this point i've not much to say.
well lets go collect ang pao today! haha
tonight then blog again.

i hope you're doing well there in Malaysia.
sigh..

Roxanne

2007-02-04T12:28:00.000+08:00

I miss my little sister right now.. very much..
so i decided.. maybe i'll dedicate this post to her =)

and this is her, from the first few months

Cacoon!

tO Hamster..

Cute aint she..

She started to roCk~ haha

and when she feels bored......

she'd take out a stick..

and she'll start to rock again...

mummy told her not to smoke on the bed..
so she got down..

she was angry..

she showed her monkey face

and went talk to her bear..

she prayed asking for powers to talk to animals..

but i guess it din't really work..

so.. she went back and prayed harder..

and i think this time,

.....
..

it worked.. =.=

she's happy.. haha

mummy brought qian hui out..

brothers brought qian hui out..

at kiddies palace

at playground..

challet - part 2

2007-02-01T01:30:00.000+08:00

to be continued...

i remember it was kinda late..
still i decided to see hunny back home.. although i know my chances of getting the last train home would be 35% only..

so....
i think we took a train.. followed by the bus to her place..
i dont really rememer what happen on the journey, anyway..
since its not the point..

decided to loiter at 7/11 to get myself something to eat.. the bus was noowhere in sight..
when i was going to pay up.. the bus zoomed off the bus stop! darn..
i waited so freakin' long for the next one..
and when when when i arrived......... the train... LAST TRAIN just left!

..... sigh i walked here and there.. and i even tried asking the taxi uncle to take me home for half the usual price.. 10 dollars instead of 20 after midnight charge.. from cck to amk..
CCK and AMK only two words apart ma.. one word 10 dollars mae..
(okae nvm, if you dont get me lOl)
i sat on the flight of stairs beside the taxi, trying to act like i really needed the ride home.. well i really needed that ride..
he kept looking at me and turning away..
and guess what!

=) He dint pick me up..
someone else came and he just went off.. idiot..

i had the money to go back...but iidint wanna waste it..
in the end.. Hunny, decided i should sneak into her house.....

2006-12-24T00:00:00.000+08:00

Happy Anniversary Hunny!!

challet..

2006-12-23T04:13:00.000+08:00

thursday.. finally after so many days of not seeing you..
we went challet together.
hunny's secondary school friends had organised another meet up to keep everyone together.
i tagged along with her.

well.. i was'nt quite at all happy at first.. after all the absence.. and suddenly a challet with hunny. Was wondering why did you seem so eager to go for your friend's challet after that..
i felt like you wanted to see someone so badly or something because you were like looking here and there keeping a lookout for your friends..
had totally no idea what you were thinking..
on the other hand.. you kept talking bout them.

i woke up as early as 8 that that morning, i dint wanna be late.
rushed downstairs to get my hair wax..
and at 8:30 i took a shower.. prepare myself and at 9.30 i was suppose to leave..
i wasted some time around and left at near 10am.
train to cck was 30 or 40 mins journey from amk.. i saw it from the plattform and was wondering if its really that quick..
nevermind..

i reached cck at 10:37 i think i and took bus 300 to hunny's house downstairs..
waited till 11:15 and hunny finally appeared..
*the time to meet with her friends changed from 11am to 1.45pm and was informed at 11:0somthingam*
nevermind.. i felt alright still.. thinking i could have slept a little more..
so we went jurong point.. to buy famous amos.. funny..
okae took bus and reached quite quickly..
we went to have our lunch at the food court opposite the arcade..
bought pineapple rich with chicken leg while hunny took the baked rich with black pepper chicken..
someone halfway go pang sai..
*laughs*

to arcade after that.. and famous amos.. and in the end.. we went by ourselves to pasir ris instead of meeting up with the rest..
had a little nap in the train.. i could'nt even sleep properly.. sigh..
train kept jerking and had nothing to lie properly on..
my eyes were extreamely tired when reached challet..
and i dint want to sleep there..
*one piece of meat lying in the middle of the room with all strangers beside?*

sigh
i laid on my laps a few mins .. here and there.. awhile on the corner awhile on the back of the bed.. i really needed the nap.. i was just too tired..
quite frustrated..
we decided to go to cycling..
it woke me up although i was really tired..
we went to the maze
we climbed the red coloured rope (red pyramid) to the top together at the playground..
we snaped a photo

headed back to the room for something to eat..
hunny cooked chiken, pasta and some other stuffs for me..
so i decided that its my turn..
i cooked otah, pasta, and stingray for hunny..
i liked the pasta that we made.. alot gravy with the sour spice taste of bbq sauce..

*hunny played bejewled and instantly broke the high score on her friend's laptop*

it was getting late..
9:37pm i think..
we started to make our way out..

as we hold hands together.. surrounded by the serenity of the clear dark sky with the moon glowing..
i was enjoying it quietly..
wondering by myself.. how often do we get to see the skies this way together..
when will the next time be..
i dint really say a word..
i just wanted to keep the peaceful and calm moment for as long as we could..
hoping to enjoy it this way.. forever i hope it could be this way..
i cherish this moment with you..

to be continued..

top 15

2006-09-20T21:56:00.000+08:00

i woKe up this morning and i started Killing In Counter-strike immediately.. From rank 1000+,
to the Top 15 List! madness..
when i stopped, it was already 2PM like that lOl.. how long did i played.....
lots of stupid team killers. well, killed them back.. ahha

i intended to go to the gym this morning.. thn to the poolside to tann myself.
arGh.
in the end rot at home again..
im getting more and more "unfit"
skinny even when i eat. I think Im really growing tapeworms inside there..

about this blogging thing, sometimes, just really really feel sick to bloG cus of the logging in and all..
thinking of it, "ahzz, nevermind, another day." and then forget everything..
the "Posting" page looks so plain i can really get bored..
if only we can change its layout..

Breaking the ruLes

2006-09-19T00:43:00.000+08:00

to outram, SGH.
after SeeIng hunny off i went to BOON LAY!
woodlands to outram to boon lay.. well.. but i'd nothing to do until 6PM!
waited for quite a long time to play my game at the arcade but never got the chance...
nevermind
wasting time, i got alot alot of time.. so i went to the opposite arcade.. it costs more over the there..
and thn.. also renewed my memory card ..

its 430PM after playing.. i spent so much already..
I proceeded to the MRT station. before that i bought a squid wrap, a paper chicken( today's taste like shyt), and a seafood spring roll and a honey milk tea.. seems alot for lunch.. not really.
anyway while i was walking to the last cabin...........

OH MY GOODNESS! i saw......
----->

lOlz! he looked at me .. i looked at him..
he looked at my food.. then he turned away..
mUha! lovely man, don't wanna even warn me.
well.. i saw him and i purposely walked forward as if nothing's wrong.. of course not touching the food..
thn i placed the food and drink BESIDE HIM!
and i sang "ge qian" with my nice sore throat..

oKae~ next stop.. ang mo kio.. i reached at 530 like that and called my friends. oO still at home!
so i toured the whole ang mo kio central! everything's changed.. those i wanna see (shops), all gone away..
used to stay over there with grandparents and aunty when i was in primary school..

Volleyball training was... not too bad.. after so long of not playing.. well, still bad..

after training, met hunny again.. see her home.. and thn i went home..
think she's angry.. that i dint call her.. =/

okae.. mother's kpkb-ing already..

2006-09-17T12:59:00.000+08:00

it's Sunday.. Somehow, im just going to stay at home;
and finish this bloG thinG up..
i've found this skin.. kind cool.. but the music.. i wanna host my own ones.. so someone please teach me how to do it -.-
till im done.