Feelings..

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FOOTPRINTS IN THE SAND - leona lewis Thursday, July 30, 2009

i've started school at SIM for 4 weeks..

this is what's gonna be for 15 months, at least..
wake up at 8 every morning. look for some clothes.
pack my bag, and think of something retard i wanna do today.
spend 10 mins in e toilet with my ciggerate and trying to kek sai..
thn 5 mins to bathe.
shave. dry my hair, do up my hair.

walk up e carpark
send my lil sister to school at zion church.
after im out of the church, another ciggerate. blast e music in my car..

reach school, park illigally. tap my card, late at times..
get into class, get a peek on that prettiest girl in my class, kimberley =P
smile at jing qi, kevin, and gladys.
lecturer comes in. try my best to uds.
and if i dont, try my best not to fall asleep.
sometimes kimberley entertains e class with interesting questions. lOl
sometimes qing qi and i will be fuckin' retarded making idiotic noises and laughing over nothing.
think of killing the lecturers when e understanding gets too tough..

break time. smoke with jing qi and kevin.
get "chicken fuck your mum" and other stuff to eat. a bottle of drink.
head back to class. wish lessons never had to start again.
end of class. disturb gladys.

if must stay back do project, dread...
otherwise, smoke again.
thn head into my car.

open the windows cus its damn hot! get burn on my ass by e heat on e leather seats.
blast e air conditioner. blast the music.
drop jing qi at bus stop. =)
u-turn and enjoy speeding down lornie road. take e bends on braddell road like my car's some F1 car.
try not to fall asleep at e rest of e journey.

reach home.
wash my legs.
hit e switch on my computer.
waste my time over the net.
ask for lunch. get crap lunch. eat lunch. scold maid over crap lunch.

revise work if i feel like. otherwise sleep.
wake up. dinner. thn cannot sleep
play games, waste time. until late at night.

and then i fall asleep..

and the next day it goes on the same way..
;)

i love college..

quoted... "u may grow up holding hands with girlfriends. but you're one of e lonliest person i've known.."

i find this sentence very applicable to me...

and i never knew i was'nt part of your life..
never that important..

i3:26 AM .ePpauL.

Saturday, July 04, 2009

if u were mine
i'll never make u cry.
they'll only be for your tears of joy.

if u held my hands
i'll hold on tight.
i wont let go, i will never leave u lonely.

if u huG me once more
i'll never bring myself apart.
cus you're a part of my heart and soul.

e days seems harder to pass without you by my side.
colder than usual, i seem to freeze in e corner of the room.
without you, without you around.

i just cant seem to move on~

when i see you cryin cus of the silliest things,
it breaks ma heart apart. and baby u know,
i wanna love you right.

now you're e best thing in my life,
baby without you, it just aint right
i just wanna love you right.

i cant sleep till i see you smile,
and you deserve better, so much better.
wanna love you right,

so wont you let me love you tonight?

i7:29 PM .ePpauL.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Im so fuckin' pissed off today.
just FUCKIN' PISSED OFF!

you know what?
fuck your mother.

i11:21 PM .ePpauL.

while i respected you, do you show me your mutual respect.
is this what you think is better.
when i treated you proper, did you even fear.
the fear that you would upset me, the fear of me being angry?
and now you fear him?
that u dont even update your blog,
you dont even reply to your tags.
you friends? when i dint like them, you dint give a shit.
now you're so afraid?
and what now?! he's your friend? and this friend is allowed to slap you, pull your hair?!
EH, WHAT THE FUCK OKAY.

why are you allowing yourself to be abused?
yes i admit it hurts to hear so.
but im telling you again, if you dont help yourself no one can.

i asked for a name. u briefly gave one. if you dint wanna even give then just ask me to fuck off.
dont give a name which there's almost nothing i can do about.
im saying this one last time.

tell me what i need to know, before i act on my own accord.
before i make a decision i know i cant re-wind.
it'll be much easier if i just know everything.
stop protecting him and say its protecting me.
i dont need to be protected from wussies like this particular moron.

and if i have to do this on my own, im coming straight at him with my baseball bat.
i dont know who he is, but i'll hunt him down.

p.s. stop being silly girl..

i10:59 PM .ePpauL.

Saturday, May 09, 2009

- P.u.d.d.i.n.g. -
i did something "random" today finally. haha!
im was walkin around, not knowing where to go...
thinking of this.. thinking of that..
felt rather, lonely..

so i thought,
i think i need a companion!
a new best friend!! haha
so i went around looking for friends.

guess who i found.
i found my sweet lil pudding!
yup tts her name.
haha. actually, i bought her from pet lovers at yishun.
Cuutte, fat, lil, custard coloured fur hamster! haha.

well. yup, she's my new friend now lOlz.
bought a nice, but damn expensive cage. (and i forgot the brand)
which looks like a dome.
at least i know i could have add ons with those fancyful connectors
if i want to.

well. for your info, i dint "buy it just because it looks so damn cute",
(whatever that phrase is, i cant remember)
i spent 2 good long hours in that shop. choosing e one i like,
looking at its, home to be, food, and bedding.
and i asked the salesman so much about hamsters although i already kept so many before.

am so very proud to have you pudding ;)
and im so very happy today. ^^

@ . @
(BIG WIDE SMILE!)

i3:07 AM .ePpauL.

Sunday, May 03, 2009

-A Bit Of Me-

there's this big part of me whom likes you but dare not say
there's abit of me whom loves you but dare not show

there's an addiction and you know i need you now
even thou we've met like so yesterday

being so close to you brings all joy to my soul
e days spent without you seems so uncoloured
with no rainbows with no crayons

i love the texts with your names all over my phone
i wanna hear you sleep, maybe i shan't bother

i urgently need you, there's my heart that says i wanna be with you
my head's killing telling me its wrong to do so

i wish a hug could stay a little longer
but then again i think i'll never let go

whats wrong with me
im going crazy
my mind's messed up with thoughts of you all over inside of me

-i miss you
i miss you, sweetie.

Paul.

i3:55 AM .ePpauL.

oh ya. i found my wallet! =))
wanna say thank you to this mama shop in yew tee at block 834A for keeping my wallet for me to return to get it.
i dint get any thank you gifts for them cause my mum was rushing to work and i could'nt buy something.

but im really greatful to you guys.
once again, thank you so .....................................................................................................................................................................
..........................................................................................................................................................................
..........................................................................................................................................................................
................ much! ;)

i3:52 AM .ePpauL.

Friday, May 01, 2009

I M S O F U C K I N ' P I S S E D O F F T O D A Y !

lost my wallet.
my black "polo" shirt was worn by uncle.
fucking stupid maid. (if you're not happy i said that sue me.)
what else's worst?!

F U C K .

i12:20 AM .ePpauL.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

im gonna get a part time job while waiting for SIM's confirmation.
im gonna get my class 2B license. class 2A. and thn Class 2.
and i'll get my harley davidson's hot rod.
im gonna take up mui tai lessons.
im gonna get my tattoo.
im gonna built my room.
im gonna learn to be a bad ass.
all these, just to forget you.
="/
and i hope by the time im done with these,
i'll forget the times i shared with you.

Paul.

i12:26 AM .ePpauL.